A Manager For All Seasons
(or "Everything Head Office Has Told You Is Wrong")
For all the times I express my serious disliking of my current vocation, there are just as many moments where I have to openly admit that overall, it's not that bad a job and it could be a lot worse. And then there are moments where I really start to wonder what the hell is going on...
Like when the district manager visits the store and applauds us for doing such a bang-up job on the latest VM guide. (Which, in essence, is the guide that tells us how to rearrange the store to properly show off new products, sales and othersuch.) And then the DM tells us flat out she really thinks Head Office must have hired a bunch of blind chimps when it came to merchandizing the store, and gives us a new plan for arranging the store. So now we're rearranging the rearrangement of the store.
All in all, I do have to admit the store looks better under the new design...but still, couldn't we have been notified of this perhaps before we did the initial changeover?
Oh, and according to various sources, apparently I'm cute and a woman.
No, I'm serious.
You can stop laughing anytime now.
Anytime....
[INTERMISSION]
Are you finished yet?
No?!
Oh, bleedin' hell...
[INTERMISSION ENCORE]
...finally! Okay, so apparently I'm cute and a woman, and not necessarily in that order. To begin, a few days ago one of my coworkers was telling me that she visited our store in one of the other malls in Cambridge. She chatted up the staff working there, and revealed that she worked at my store up in Conestoga Mall. Whereupon the girls working there immediately began grilling her on how I looked. Based on what I was told, they all think I "sound really cute on the phone" whenever I call the store asking for some info or item checks. So I have a cute voice. Flattering, sure, but also a little boggling.
Now, before you light the torches and proclaim my ego must be killed now before it rises up and devours us all, wait until you hear this.
Yesterday morning, I had a conversation with a man who referred to me as "Ma'am." Four times. I know because I started counting after "Ma'am" number 2. Now the first time, I can forgive. It was probably a mistake; maybe he assumed a lady would be working. Most of our stores are all-female employees.
But the second time? Okay, maybe my voice was a little high-pitched. I needed some water when he called, and it was right before the store (and the mall) actually opened.
Third time...okay, now I'm getting insulted.
Fourth time...now I'm just plain worried. Have my Crossplay antics have finally caught up to me? Have I achieved a potential level of androgeny that puts me alongside Bowie during his Ziggy Stardust days? Do I really sound like a girl?!
Don't answer that.
I said don't answer that! Please?
You bastards, you answered it.
NOOOOOO!!!!
[ME INTERMISSION, YOU JANE]
Well, that about brings this little bit of nowhere to a close. The rest of today gets to be spent with Kevin as we conspire to make Hogwarts a little more crater-filled than usual. Though were on earth we're going to put the bukkake is beyond me. And just to make your day that much more surreal, here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on his head.
posted by Phillip at 11:11 AM
